UNREQUITED LOVE:
When we fall in love, we fall real hard.
We do anything to win our loved one's heart.
We accept the pain and smile even though we're dying inside.
We wish, we hope, we long, we wait.
But sometimes the wait it too long that we begin to wonder if our time is worth the wait, or if there's really something to wait for to begin with. And then it hits us.
While the braver and luckier ones have their whole lives to spend with the ones they truly love, there are those whose relationships that once worked out well just fail. And unfortunate as that may sound, they are still to be considered lucky, for while their relationships have turned sour, at least they were able to feel it, to be in it.
Even more unfortunate are those who wait, wait, wait, and wait, yet their stories never start. These people end up wondering what could have been had they done the other choice, and then they start asking, in the first place, what was the other choice that could equally make them happy? Was there any, really?
Sometimes, things are just exactly the way it seems. There's nothing more than his/her glowing eyes staring at you, there's nothing more than his/her hand holding you, there's nothing more than his/her hug giving you comfort, there's nothing more than his/her sweet words consoling you.
Really, there's nothing greater than friendship that s/he can offer. Yet you decide to go on believing that a miracle will happen. You decide to daydream until your face can no longer hold your plastered smile, then you snap back to the real world and as if you were back to step one, you can hardly accept the truth.
You cannot gracefully admit that s/he's not yours, and may never be. You insist that you have chemistry. You firmly believe that you can only feel that strongly for him/her and just the same, s/he will never find a greater relationship with anyone but you.
But sometimes, fate can be harsh. So many people have said it's a matter of our choice. So many people have claimed that we can reverse our fate. But hasn't it also been evident that it's not always the case? Hasn't it been proven that sometimes, we have no choice, or rather, what we have are unrealistic choices?
We do not really have to argue with the fact that sometimes, no matter how much you try to make things happen, no matter how many chances you try to grab, no matter how much you try to win, things will not be the way you want them to.
Not because you are wrong for wishing, hoping, longing and waiting, but because in reality, it's only you making the story, trying to end it happily. In reality, you're the only one playing the game, hoping s/he would join someday.
And in reality, there was never really someone else in your life, but your own mind playing a prank you have yet to accept.
Monday, October 12, 2009
3:29 AM
uncertanties
There are things in life that you will never own, no matter how much money you have.
Like a love that you always thought was yours but find out that it was only your wishful thinking telling you that.
Or the love that's always been around, except that it never found the right time, and enough courage.
Or the love that was always kept inside in fear of losing the friendship you share.
What do you do when you fail in love? What do you do when your love remains unreciprocated, or hidden? Is it like dead people who have unfinished business haunting you forever?
How will your questions be answered? Will it ever be answered?
Maybe. Maybe in time you'll understand. Maybe in time, things will be explained to you.
Or maybe, your questions will be forgotten. Maybe your questions will just be left hanging.
Maybe it will just fade without you knowing the truth.
And maybe, just maybe, your questions, just like your love, will remain unanswered forever..
Thursday, July 16, 2009
3:27 AM
Okay lang yan."
What does it really mean? Why was it even created in the first place? Is it supposed to be some kind of comfort? Or some kind of an insensitive remark?
I really hate it when I tell someone how bad I'm feeling and all that person will tell me is.."Okay lang yan!"
I mean, come on. Common sense please. If it were okay, why would I even bother to talk about it, right?
It's like they're helpless. It's like their last resort since they can't seem to think of anything nice to say. Well, I guess that's when the word "listen" becomes very important. I mean, yeah, it would be great if you could say something, but then again, if you have nothing good to say, just listen and it will be just as fine...
I just hope people would stop believing that saying "Okay lang yan" is soothing enough and nice to hear. I also hope they realize that saying those words are in fact irritating and very, very offensive. Lastly, yeah, I do hope they stop believing that saying such words will change it all.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
3:23 AM
trust
What do you do when you lose your trust? How can you ever bring it back? Is there even a way?
Losing your trust is such a depressing thing. It's one of those times you wish you just didn't know things, at least it wouldn't have destroyed your relationship with someone. Sometimes, it's really better to know nothing because yeah, as the saying goes, what you don't know won't hurt you...
Worse, the people around you don't even understand your point?! I can so hear the "Okay lang yan" again...
You know, there are times when it's so much better to be alone. When you don't have to think of someone, when you just worry about yourself.
Hay I'm just glad I'm leaving soon. That would make me think better, and clearer and maybe if I think from the other side of the country, it would somehow make me understand this certain someone more?
Thursday, April 2, 2009
3:20 AM
The Ironies of Life
Isn't it sad that a lot of people think friendship is not really something we should exert effort on and take seriously? Isn't it sad that so many people think friendship is nothing close to a romantic relationship when in fact, you turn to your friends when you are single?
Isn't it sad that when you are offended by a friend and you tell someone about it, all that person will tell you is, "it's okay. you're friends. you're supposed to understand each other.", or "you're just friends. why are you overreacting?"?
I just find it sad.
because the way i see it, friendship is also like being in a relationship, minus the romantic benefits.
I mean, you do the same stuff--you hang out, you share common interests, you plan dates, you bond, you share your deepest secrets, you laugh together, you cry together, you go crazy together. you just don't become physical, and when I say physical, i guess you know what I mean.
So it makes me sad when people take their friends for granted. I feel sad when friends drift apart. I feel sad when friends never make up. I feel sad when friends end up as enemies. I feel sad when friends stop talking. I feel sad when friends start talking behind each others backs. I feel sad when friends become strangers, total strangers.
and all because of what?
because people think friends are not as important as our partners, and that friends are not worth fighting for.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
3:22 AM
It really feels good to know that you can depend on someone in times you need a friend the most.
Moreover, it feels good to know that the person you thought was not worth keeping suddenly shows up when no one seems to care.
It's funny how the people you're around with don't understand how you feel, yet the person you don't even see much seems to just understand every single thing, without you telling every detail.
Isn't it ironic that the person you aren't really close to is the one, and the only one who really sees through you?
Life is really a big mystery. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but it's really when you lose that you see who really care about you.
I'm just glad that even though I'm in the point of confusion now, someone actually understands me and tries to comfort me by telling me that yeah, I do have a freaking point.
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